Ah, romance.

For those of you that don’t know (as if anyone who doesn’t know me is reading this), I am a lover of classic British romance novels. No, not the modern sexual fantasy novels with hunky guys shirtless on the cover, but REAL romance. Most recently I came to the realization that I had never completely read North and South, by Elizabeth Gaskell. For shame!!! I’ve recently come to realize that I prefer North and South to Pride and Prejudice in some ways. I know, I know! It’s almost sacrilegious. It tears me apart to even think of it. But it’s true. And there’s a reason.

(My thought process was created with the aid of my wonderful sister Ms. Molly Lewis, and she deserves a lot of credit for what is about to be written. Just so everyone knows.)

Both Austen and Gaskell follow similar if not identical storylines. Girl meets boy, girl dislikes boy for character flaws, boy likes girl for her personality (helped along by her being remarkably handsome), girl rejects boy, girl realizes boy is awesome; girl and boy share a wonderful and beautiful moment in the final pages and make me wish I lived hundreds of years ago. Also make me consider trying to bring back that style of necktie. They look so dashing. The same right? Not so fast!

The difference lies in the characters perception of themselves and what they deserve. The two scenes that best represent what I mean are the same in both books. The initial proposals are both met with vehement rejection, but the man’s attitude in each is different. While Darcy is assured in his own mind of success, Thornton hardly allows himself to hope. Success for Darcy would simply be a realization of his own self-worth, while for Thornton it is something only imaginable, beyond belief. Darcy feels that he deserves Elizabeth. Thornton knows that Margaret is too good for him. By the end of each novel the two people are together. While Austen gives a sense of real happiness between her two lovers, Gaskell does more. And her version of love is what I want in my own life.

Thornton knows that he doesn’t deserve Margaret. Margaret knows that she doesn’t deserve Thornton. Darcy and Elizabeth may live happy together until their deaths and if so that’s wonderful. But Mr. and Mrs. Thornton will live every day of their lives together feeling like the luckiest people in the world. If you can’t wake up in the morning and look at your husband or wife and feel that kind of emotion, then I think that you are missing out. And that’s why I’m still single ;)



I kid. I don’t think that I have too inflated an idea of my own self-worth; I think that I need someone who challenges me. And yes Molly, I read the ending of North and South four times. It was beautiful.

I wrote that previous post last week, but just now brought my computer into the land of connectivity. Such is the life of a woodland man. I was about to write about how pretty the snow was as it drifted down from the heavens. Before I could transfer my thought to the page it went from oh so pretty to oh damn. "wintery mix" which means icy slush and silly drivers. This happens multiple times per year people, get used to it!

In reference to my earlier post, I have an update. I just read my sister Molly's favorite book Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. If you haven't read, get off your ass. Go to the bookstore. Buy it. Read it. Pass it along to a friend. Unfortunately for me there are few people here in Pope County Arkansas that would read it if I gave it to them...

Give them a free welder and they'll be over the moon. Classic literature? Maybe not. That's what Molly is for!!!

Also, I need ideas for a name for my "ranch." Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Self Realizations

I am continually reminded throughout my life that others know me better than I know myself. No matter the trappings of life that I choose to surround myself with, or the current situation. They know how my mind works. The foremost of these (far beyond the nearest of comaprison) is my beloved sister Molly.
She recently (and yes I call several months ago recent, since she was herself a year late in sending it) sent me a novel crafted around the idea that the novels of Jane Austen can teach us how to live life. While mildly tedious and repetitive in some parts it is a delightful memoir that I throroughly enjoyed.

I wonder if my sister while reading it mentally put quotations around certain passages and aimed them in my direction. I would not have been surprised to see whole paragraphs highlited with a sidebar comment- "This is for you little brother!" Beyond the obvious dicussions of pride, prejudice, love, forbearance, etc... was another lesson that I realize I haven't fully learned. How to read a book. Molly, I hope that you remember the time many years ago that I laughed at you and poked fun over your reading a hefty tome titled How to Read a Book. For that instance I apollogize. I do not apologize for trying to sneak into your room to turn off the Titanic sountrack. You tortured me with it for months. I despised you.

I grew up in a literary family. In comparison to many others we read a lot. A vast amount in fact. I was a voracious reader in my youth and prided myself on being above my peers in that respect. I read longer, more complex, and higher grade level books, and thought that made me better. I was a snob, if that term can be used in referance to a twelve-year-old. Having nothing else to feel superior about I clung to it. My junior year in AP english language we would analyze a new passage from a novel every day. I recall feeling so superior when I was the only one who could recognize a passage and already knew what to say.The best example is the Mr. Collins proposal. I'd read the book and seen the film multiple times. Needless to say, my level of knowledge of 18th century english romance did little to increase my social standing. If I'd been smarter I would've kept my mouth shut and feigned indifference like the rest of the class. The annoyance I feel now is that that sense of academic superiority is now without merit and has no real foundation amongst people of my age group.

While at 16 I was beyond my peers in literary study, I am now immensely behind. I can hardly feel guilty for the fact itself. Most of my then-peers went on to college and spent years of their lives dedicated specifically to furthering their knowledge of the written word. I rowed around the Atlantic with 140 guys. Boat quote- "We can't watch that movie tonight, it doesn't have any titties in it!!" True story. Not exactly intellectually stimulating.

The question  resulting from this reflection is- what do I do now? I want to learn how to read again. I used to mistakenly equate volume with knowledge. If I simply stuffed more words into my brain it made me a better reader. When I was in high school that was enough, but is it still? Thoughts?


Current read is DH Lawrence- Sons and Lovers. It appeared on my shelf from somewhere. Molly, was that you?
 

Visitation

So, my oldest sister Amanda is coming to visit me next week and I'm trying to think of things to do while she is here. Luckily she likes the outdoors and things that involve nature and my house is right next to the national forest. Nice! I knew that I picked my house for a reason. I figure we can go hiking and riding somewhere, go to a movie . . . . I'm hoping that she's easy to please as far as entertainment. When the rest of my family came to visit I had an entire itenerary. I am unprepared. And I need to clean my house. It's not that bad, but not that good either. Re-wash the sheets on the guest bed, clean the bathtub (it was last used to wash the dog), put the guns somewhere other than everywhere . . . there's a long list.

My last post was in August of 2010. How very sad for all you out there, breathe bated, waiting for my next outpouring of genius. I feel for you and am now going to give you something to read. I'm sure that the people who read my blog (read that read as past tense. Ha! fun with language) already know that I left the Navy and moved to Arkansas to pursue a more enjoyable lifestyle. I bought a house, have horses, a dog, a temporary cat, and am much happier now then I was when I last posted. Well, happier in my sistuation. Apparently I was quite enamored with a beautiful girl last time I wrote on here and now I'm single. That was a fun reminder. Thanks blog. New to my family (the only people that read this) I have purchased a motorcycle to replace the one that I sold before leaving CT. Very pretty, very nice. My good friend Kathryn was helping me to pick out names and love her idea. I'm going to name her after a famous pin-up artist. She's a genius! Betty, Rita, Dorothy, Jane . . . so many! You can see what she looks like here. The review from the associated article was not that great but the pictures are good. I don't agree with his appraisal at all, but he is allowed to be wrong. Name suggestions are welcome. It is also my recommendation that if you choose to tell my mother about this that you do so when she is not driving or involved in any other activity that could cause bodily harm. She might have a severely negative reaction, as she hates the idea of me riding a motorcycle. I won't point out that I also shoot guns all of the time, go horseback riding, and work in an industrial power plant every day. I'll take the risk.

What else is new with me? Not much. I need to work on decorating my house more and getting some more furniture so that I take some things out of the boxes in my spare bedrooms. I'm not in much of a hurry since these are things that I don't really use and don't need to display. I feel like I should have a more permanent storage solution since I don't plan on moving anytime in the next 50 years or so. Decor is the more important issue. My house is out in the country and I have horses so some people would think that I would have horsey, hunting, or woodland pictures EVERYwhere, but I don't like that style at all. My wonderful sisters and my mother have posted some excellent ideas on pinterest. I really do like the firelog wall decor idea. I will almost definitely put some shelves in to duplicate it. Evetually. I also love the wine-cask bath/jacuzzi. Awesome. When I remodel my bathroom I might knock out the wall to the closet just to put one in. You can view them here. I'm very happy that I figured out how to make a word a link. I'm so techno-savvy! I was trying to find a custom mailbox that looks like a fast-attack submarine but all I could find were ones that look like the yellow beatles submarine. Poo. I might have to make one. Ideas are more than welcome and can be either emailed to me or "pinned" to what is apparently my pinterest page. I have no idea how that works, I just like it! Enjoy. Much love to everyone. I'll be back in another year or two.

How did he know?

Somehow Uncle Kracker knew what I was thinking and wrote a song about it! Thanks to a special friend for introducing me to this song. Now I'm incredibly blessed to have someone in my life who makes me want to sing it.

You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your life
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of
bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
sing like bird
Dizzy in my head
spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile
Ohh you make me smile
Ohh you make me smile

Too happy for my own good!

So to start with, there are many things in my life that should be making me unhappy right now. I deploy soon and it looks like there is a decent chance that I won't get to see my family before I go. Not cool. I moved out of my house and am now couch/floor hopping until the aforementioned deployment. Also not cool. For those of you not up to date, let me know and I'll fill you in. Work is horrible, more so now than normal because I can't stop thinking that I'm supposed to be in California right now on leave and not here in the hell-hole that is CT. Also not cool.

So why you might ask am I so happy all the time? Well I'll give you a hint. I've been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow (yes that's Jane Austen, and it's perfect). Luckily for me those eyes are looking in my direction and I'm staring directly into hers. And yes, her eyes are bewitching and her face beautiful. This makes me happy. It overpowers my work and the rest of the drama of my life. Every day I look forward to hearing her voice and every time I even think of it I smile. So I'm happy and that's that.